The Weekly High Five 🐾

Hey Reader,
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I sat in a living room a while ago with a mom I won't forget.

Newborn baby down the hall. A cat doing cat things in the corner. An English Lab puppy named Nova who could not settle when guests showed up.
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The week before, the family had set out a licky mat with pumpkin (Nova's favorite) to keep her busy when their dinner guests arrived. Nova rolled it up in her mouth and ran it to the visitors.

The mom looked at me, exhausted, and said, "She just needs something ahead of time to tire her out."

I want you to read that sentence again.

That is not a failing owner. That is a woman who has been studying her own dog while running on no sleep and holding a baby on her hip.

She thought she was the problem. She told me she watches the calm trainers on Instagram and feels like she's the only one whose dog hasn't figured it out yet.

I've been thinking about that conversation all week. Because I was that mom about 8 years ago. Crying over a puppy I couldn't figure out, with kids in the house and no trainer who got it. So I became the trainer I couldn't find.

That's why I want to say something I tell almost every mom I sit with.

You're not failing. You're learning. Those are not the same thing, even though at 9 PM on a hard Tuesday they feel like they are.

The fact that you're reading a dog training email after the kids are down, when you could be doing literally anything else, is the trait that separates the moms who get there from the moms who give up. Still trying is not the failure mode. Still trying is the whole game.

You were never supposed to do this alone. Wanting help is not weakness. It's the move.

I'm not selling you anything today. No workshop. No course. No "limited time" anything.

Hit reply and tell me what you're dealing with right now. The walk you dread. The room where you and your dog can't seem to find calm together. The thing that's been chewing on you. No script.

I want to know who's actually reading this. I'll write back.

To the dog mom hiding in the bathroom for 5 minutes of quiet. To the one whose puppy is going through a hard stage. To the one Googling answers after the kids fall asleep.

I see you. I've been you.

Pam,
CPDT-KA